Fiercely Independent

Fiercely independent (and sometimes bossy).  That is how my daughter's teacher described her during parent/teacher conferences tonight.  I expressed concern that Brooke doesn't seem to play with other kids during recess (the teacher has told us this before).  She said that the other girls want to play mamas and babies and other "girly" games like that.  And Brooke prefers to be active - she'll go off and jump rope instead.  Or even just hang around the teacher.  I've tried to talk to Brooke about this, suggesting that she play games the other girls want to play sometimes even if it is not her favorite game.  She looks at me like that is an absurd suggestion - why would she play something she doesn't want to play if she has a choice?

I'll admit that the words "fiercely independent" and "bossy" had me a bit worried.  Because honestly that does not sound like the most winning personality combination.  So I dutifully inquired about her "social skills" thinking maybe it is something we can work on.  Does she have problems relating to her peers?  Something she can improve on?  The teacher's response was no, her social skills are fine.  She just knows what she wants and that is what she does.  Her exact words:  "She's just ........ Brooke."

I put Brooke to bed tonight still thinking about what was said.  Still worrying. Then I realized that while she does need to work on following rules, being less disruptive in class (and at home) and generally behaving in a civilized way, she does not need to change her personality.

After all, I'd bet that most of the great women in history, women who really accomplished something in their lifetimes, were considered fiercely independent and yes, even bossy.  Maybe these personality traits will keep her from bowing quite so easily to peer pressure when she's a teenager.  Maybe it will give her the courage to go her own way, follow her own dreams.  My challenge will be to help her grow without stifling her independence and her energetic approach to life.  Because after all, being Brooke is pretty great.

Melissa